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WHAT CAN I DO / TRUTH

 
     
 

i do

A fundamental understanding happened for me when I found I could trust myself, I could rely on something inside of me, I could look at it and say, 'That really is true.' It was not some kind of ultimate truth but solid ground for me emotionally and psychologically to stand on. It wasn't anything massive or esoteric. There was just the question, 'Is that really true?' of my beliefs about the world and other people. I had just accepted it all without much questioning. In the process of self-realisation I was relentlessly driven to examine my own reality.

It began with the question, 'Do I really know this to be true?'. Ask that question of yourselves. Ask of any belief or understanding, 'Is it really true?' Is there anything that you can say of yourself, 'I have no doubt about this.' It doesn't have to be a great esoteric truth. It may just be about a feeling or something you know you can rely on. This is the place to start. In the West we have been taught that knowledge is something unshakeable. I had the notion that I could acquire some knowledge that would be true in every possible situation. Once I had this particular bit of knowledge then I could apply it to everything. My own enquiry has shown me that isn't true. The idea that there was some knowledge called ultimate truth which when found would be applicable to every situation just didn't stand up. Everything is conditional and has to be seen in the context of the present moment.

There is not one thing you can use for every situation. You have to be awake and living in the present moment to be able to see what is really here. It is only when you are actually here in the present moment that you can see, 'This is what I want, this is what is really happening.'

Q So what was it that was true? Was it a feeling rather than a knowledge?

I was sure about so many things in my reality and then suddenly I was less sure. I had been acting as if I really knew. So enquiry became the place to stand. I saw that I didn't know if something was true, yet it wasn't a disempowerment, it was a place of expansion. The examination was on a feeling level and an understanding level. The things I was examining were not massive truths, they were just something real at that moment in my life, something in the present. Is my present feeling real? Can I trust what I am feeling? Our senses feed back information about the present. Some of the sensory input you can put down to the baggage that we carry around.

I firstly needed to distinguish what was going on in me that came from past traumas. I needed to be honest and ask, 'Am I lying to myself?' The essential part of any realisation is that you check it out and ask yourself, 'Is this true?' Then when you know something is true for yourself, you move on to the next seeing. It is an internal expansion, you are making space inside yourself. As you make this space inside, you get clearer in your ability to see what's happening in your senses and to see what feedback you are getting from the present moment. Am I awake? Can I trust what I am feeling? Is it giving me useful information?